Friday, May 29, 2009

Geoffrey Holder.

I would like to find out that this is the guy who played Punjab in Annie. And that he can actually levitate a vase with a beautiful bouquet of flowers in it, and that it was not just a special effect for the movie. Sounds like The Law Offices of Johnston & Johnston have a NEW INTERN! Since he can levitate things he'll be a paid intern.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Kind of-ish somewhat.

When you get your picture taken with a musician of your liking at the show usually you are going to want to show a bit more gratitude than just the "a-okay" hand signal. It says "I am kind of excited to be here, the music is pretty good, can't complain".
A thumbs up would have worked. It's a little camp counselor, but, it would have worked better than the tolerable trio over here.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009


I've been to parties with my sister. If I had it my way she'd come to every party with me and I'd go to every party with her. My dream is that we'd become sister socialites.
When my sister and I go to parties together I think we get sillier and a little more sauced than usual. I know that at some point we usually end up going into this mode where we are laughing and we made some joke about our family so, no one else laughs as hard or as long as we do. We can't stop giggling and we don't even know what it is anymore that we are laughing about. It's pretty much like getting high in high school with your best friend.
You know, when the concept of being high is still foreign and fun.
It's hilarious, and we must look like the biggest dweeb wads ever but, it's okay because your sibling doesn't judge you and because you've got that, everyone else can bug off.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009


Those real life Rodney Dangerfield types must really have it rough, not only do they probably get knocked around a lot, they have that bully complex they have to deal with. Slap a drinking problem on that stack and we have a home run!
Don't get me wrong Rodney Dangerfield was a reputable entertainer, I just think people who were actually born(most likely in Jersey) with the mentality, probably don't really understand how societies operate.

Friday, May 22, 2009


Are people still doing that Soldier Boy dance? I am so surprised that little nugget of pop culture miraculously crossed my path. I have no reason to monitor the rubbish that is played on MTV or MTV2, however many MTV's they've got running these days. I don't listen to any channels that would be playing it on the radio. A friend tried to be funny by doing it randomly one day just dancing this "soldier boy dance". He was unsuccessful in producing humor because I had not heard of it and he looked unbelievably ridiculous.
I requested that he never do that again and asked if he had shown this act to other people. So, he proceeded to show me the youtube video and I was still unamused. I was more entertained with the idea that I had lost connection with the new and the now, mostly just the young MTV culture, I rarely know new musicians (if you want to call them that) or any of the newest slang, etc. And I could not feel more fortunate and more relieved about that.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Echo echo.

It's best to leave the ironic cartoony 80's stylings to M.I.A., the one who drove it to resurface. It's such a specific look that she has some how created but, since it's just recycled looks from 25 years ago creatively arranged into some sort of style. She didn't come up with any new idea really, she just put a face with it, now when you see that look you think M.I.A.. That's why it's unfortunate to so closely mimic the look, you end up looking like a copy cat who copied a creative copy cat. And no one wants that.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Go Twins.

Is this what happens when Minnesotans go to LA? We end up resorting back to flannel, baseball caps and avoiding the sun? Staying dorky, keeping it real. It makes sense because being the palest one at the party is sure to make you stand out, the only problem is people might mistake you for Powder.
Alright not all Minnesotans are pale, but if it's winter and you are Caucasian and tan living in Minnesota you are faking it.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Setting Out.

The only field trips that really stuck with me were ones to the Mount Frontnac Ski Resort when I was a kid and one was in high school to the small tourism rivertown of Lansboro. There was a fire drill at school and everyone piled out of the school and from there we were directed onto greyhound buses with no idea where we were going. We spent the day in Lansboro eating ice cream, looking at art, visiting the waterfall and picnicing. The administration of the school later on got in a whole heap of trouble for not alerting parents that they were kidnapping their kids and taking them on a field trip for the day.
The school had just opened three years before I enrolled therfore it still had not hit a lot of walls with legalities yet. It was an art school so, yes, everyone pretty much looked like this except we all were not of the same subculture, less cohesive and more pubescent looking.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Outer Space.

I don't mean to play the weird vibe aura game here but, do you ever get a real weird feel from people? It kinda throws you off for a while and you go into deep thought about it?
..."I wonder if their upbringing was really strange or traumatic? Are they secretly super creepily religious? no, they'd be to hard up right off the bat to convert me., I wonder...just maybe... could they be aliens? Walking among us disguised as human beings?" These are deep thoughts and challenging questions, only one knows the answers and only one knows the truth and their name is Sylvia Brown.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Reversed Anthropomorphism.

I think sometimes affection is poorly distributed. Some people treat pets as humans. Some people treat pets like rodents. Some people treat other people like rodents. Some people treat other humans as if they were their pets.
People are so screwy.

Thursday, May 14, 2009


Braaaaavo. I completely applaud this look. I could not be happier with the "when it rains it pours" kind of attitude he must of had when getting outfitted for the night. I imagine him putting the sunglasses and shirt on and being like "it really needs something else" then he puts his pin on his collar and is like "I think I need a mustache to really make this happen". It is pure dedication, this is the cast of mastery that makes people ooze decorum.
I know what you're thinking, there is that slimy twinkle to him.
Let me ask you this if he were to ask you...
" What are you and your friends doing next week, I plan to go on safari and was wondering if I flew you out, if you'd like to house sit my enormous yacht in the West Indies that has an endless supply of liquor, food, and cigarettes."
How would you answer his question?

Wednesday, May 13, 2009


Bummer barbie will hit stores soon! This high maintenance doll comes with accessories that include a shitty bottle of light beer, a cell phone, and credit card bills. Have fun scaring away people with her frightfully annoying laugh and her unstoppable chatter about what happened to her when she was driving the other day.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Jubilant but woebegone.

Geniuses only come along once in a great while. It seems when they do, they never get the notoriety until way down the road when they are on their deathbed.
Seeing things like this make my heart flutter and bum me out at the same time.
Hotdogs wrapped in bacon, what a dream.
Eating even three of them could strongly contribute to a heart attack, how gloomy.
It's like a friend of mine who has a bacon tattoo over his heart, that could get real ironic someday.

Monday, May 11, 2009


A friend of mine has a tattoo similar to this except it's on the other side of her arm. This way when she wants to show people her tattoo she doesn't have to lift her arm to reveal the tattoo, a possible stench and (for some reason) a devious look that screams International Male catalog model. Kind of takes away from the meaning, I guess it's some sort of symbol from Norway that means protection and invisibility. Please protect me from him by making him invisible.

Friday, May 8, 2009


Keith Haring, much like his idol Andy Warhol, used bright colors, bold lines and simple subject matters.
Though, I think Haring had a different moral structure than Warhol. One of my favorite quotes ever is by Warhol which is "Being good in business is the most fascinating kind of art. Making money is art and working is art and good business is the best art."
Keith Haring started with chalk drawings in New York and became famous for his well-known
"The Radiant Baby".
His work is iconic, his figures have expressed a message of life, birth, death, unity, love, sex, war and AIDS awareness.

Why in God's great earth are you falling asleep in his jacket.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009


Do you think the new generation of cult leaders will be as easy to spot as the old ones? I think they're going to have to "hip-up" their look a little to draw in the kids. This could be difficult in order draw in the most amount of people with out going towards one specific sub-culture.
Going with this vague hipster look with a tucked in button down shirt and black jeans is a good start. That god-awful, unsightly, design tie to distract and hypnotize the raver crowd. He's also got a necklace halo thing that says "I have a good aura" to the earthy crowd.
There you go, now it's time to walk out into the world
and cast your nets Mr. Our generation cult leader man.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009


Is this what happens when you drink energy drinks like Monster and Rock Star for too long? You just morph into the extreme, strung-out version of the closest typecast to your identity.
And when you've been drinking those things for around 15 years you are the finished mainstream, dulled-out version of someone who wants to be "extreme".
No wonder these guys look like they are having such a
bummerific time.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Magician Intern

Intern hiring time! The Law Offices of Johnston & Johnston would like to introduce our Wizardry Intern He creates illusions and makes things disappear, like bills and bodies. He also does kids' parties for extra side money. He's read all the Harry Potter books and he's a Data Analyst!
He's the Great & Mystifying Dale!

Friday, May 1, 2009

Good doing.

It is the smallest deeds that really make a difference.
Like getting Uncle Aurthur who listened to way too much Dr. Hook and took way too much acid in 1970 out of the "assisted loony house" for a day.
Then again, I imagine changing adult diapers can be quite the task.