Thursday, March 25, 2010


What happened? Did some of the puppies live and it made you so upset you drank til you couldn't feel feelings anymore? Oh wait.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010


Taking the phrase ultimate dude mobile to a higher level, I could care less. I would however advise against revving up, peeling out, going real fast and breaking really quick resulting in a sling launch of dudes but, unfortunately that's probably exactly what's going to happen.

Friday, March 19, 2010


If I could have it my way John Waters and I would be a song and dance lounge duo at Nye's every Monday night. We'd call ourselves the Lubricious Little League.

Thursday, March 11, 2010


Okay, I would never want to encourage violence but, come on how bad do you want to be in this gang? It's like hip hop luxury car gang meets the cool high school jock hang out meets disco and topping it off with just a trifle of roadhouse trash. How bad to you want to be a part of this haversack of enchantment?
You know, I bet they aren't even bad at all, I bet they are good.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010


It's a piano tie made into a piano bow.
Now where are we supposed to put this on the classification chart of dignity? We all know the piano tie retired with Casio's Scientific calculator watch. I must say it is done in an awfully snappy way.
Though, I'm biased because immediately after viewing this Dinah Shore's "Buttons & Bows" started playing in my head and has made me feel just fine about a piano tie in a bow.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010


Don't get me wrong I can appreciate German performance art. When it comes to parties I'd rather have some Joseph Beuys around any day than the ol'e body painting standby.

Monday, March 8, 2010


Mouth breathers can be a displeasure to be sat next to or near in movies, elevators, and meetings etc. but, let's not forget that
nose breathers will have their tormenting tendencies as well.

Friday, March 5, 2010


What's interesting or not interesting about irony is that when it's simmered in with high art the tone grows increasingly boring, in that haute sort of way.

Thursday, March 4, 2010


Fake I.D.'s are terrific and if you can make it work take full advantage because there is nothing better than telling bar stories from when you were 16 years old.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010


Pros & Cons of Karaoke.

Pros: the friends, the drinks, Frank Sinatra, Cyndi Lauper, Jimmy Buffet, Neil Diamond, Journey, Michael Jackson, Bruce Springsteen, Don Mclean, Chuck Berry, Bonnie Tyler, Gloria Gaynor, Sir-Mix-Alot, Queen, ABBA Garth Brooks, Meatloaf, Van Morrison, Spice Girls, Billy Joel, and of course WHAM.

Cons: serious people.

Please feel free to suggest anything I may have left out of the Pros and Cons of Karaoke.