Monday, December 28, 2009

Manet alta mente repostum.

It's no surprise drinking memories from my pre-adult years seem to all muddle together like Karkov and Ouzo. Though, there are a few favorite nights/days that I can recall with such vivid resiliency. With some lost and some retained I never forget my first year of college my mother was packing up the house I grew up in and was moving. I gave her permission to pack up the things in my room. During this time I would recieve a phone call twice a week from my mother because she had found a half full bottle of liquor randomly stashed somewhere that I had hid from myself while intoxicated. Behind the dresser, behind my radio, disguised in my bookcase, or under the bed, the more calls I received about forgotten bottles the more I became amused with the cleverness I had while shnockered.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009


I have absolutely no idea what these three are up to but, I have a feeling it might involve, well-crafted boomerangs, NASA, tailgating, negotiation, and a colossal heap of rum and then ends somewhere along the SAFE Port Act and money laundering. No worries though, the guy in the denim is a lawyer.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009


I usually despise dairy cohorting around with my liquor though this holiday season I do think a White Russian ought to be near-at-hand.
It seems like a suitable substitute when eggnog is no where near your delicious delight classification. As long as no rugs are soiled and no one ruins Christmas with their drinking problem I suppose all is well.

Monday, December 21, 2009


Someone needs to do something about these Kanye glasses and the escalating fascination idiots tend to have with them. If it does not get taken care of soon it's not too long before we start seeing these things being sold in kits including roofies and frackets at every convenience stop in town.

Friday, December 18, 2009


It's terribly refreshing to see a group of girls supporting each others passions and strengths. It's good moral, influence, and it keeps all that negative cutthroat blood back in the stupid bucket where it belongs. Now that's a friendship bracelet of another color!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009


If the 90's is up to bat in the generation revival game then so be it. All I have to say is there better be a few Michael Stipe types floating around to remind us that everybody hurts.


Sometimes guys like this look like such puppetry. It's that there is clear evidence of sound grooming habits which, you know was not intended in the original blueprint of the image aiming to be achieved. I'm also a little curious if Hot Topic recently expanded into the tattoo parlor trade.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009


It never used to be like this but, now when ever I see a middle-aged woman shriek for joy an alarm goes off in my head that makes my pupils contract, muscles tighten, and an involuntary compulsion to vacant the area. It must be a conditioned response to all those suffocating hugs where all you could breathe was Elizabeth Taylor knock-off and Vaseline.

Monday, December 14, 2009


It's a big world out there. It's a lot of big decisions, with big opportunities, and big hotdog vendors with very large hats. So be sure that you're ready with a bang'in pair of mom shorts when you set out to conquer.

Thursday, December 10, 2009


Being a teenage Jennifer Coolidge character is no walk in the park. Can you imagine plastic surgery being your crossing-over into womanhood? Also, consider the drawbacks of having an unavoidably gaudy sense of taste in everything. It's no picnic.


It's always interesting to see people get really excited about their apparel at a festival. Some people go wacky, some go relaxed, some go everyday, and some go Fruit stripes after rehab.

Thursday, November 26, 2009


When Jesus sailed sailed the ocean blue on the Kmart, Walmart, and The Shopko Maria and discovered America the first thing they did was invent particle board.

Friday, November 20, 2009


I've said it before and I'll say it now. Go party where sailors party. I'm following my own advice and I'm going to New York for a little over a week to party where sailors party or used to party.
I'll post when I can.

Thursday, November 19, 2009


Mr. DJ pyramid hat here is in dire need of a new look. Wearing black silk as a piece of apparel, actually black silk anywhere is pretty gaudy.
Put the black silk back where it belongs, next to velvet Elvis in the cheetah print frame with the Johnson Smith Co. catalog near by.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009


Togetherness is a marvelous thing: when people dress alike, hugs, sleeping in bunk beds, smiles, sharing.
Coming up with new non-verbal ways of expressing fellowship is always a fun exercise.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009


This urban Kokopelli character is all tranquil and harmonious for the most part. It's when he flips out and won't let anyone leave the party until he finds out who submerged his iphone in the bong water that you'll find he's got some not so mellow vibes after all.

Monday, November 16, 2009


Oh of course it's an over-embellished look but, at least you could safely say that you know first hand Velma Dace Dinkley has some taste.

Friday, November 13, 2009


When someone is so out of place that it makes you feel itchingly awkward, it really makes you wonder if they're completely oblivious to it all. Or if they're one of those people who crave the strand of attention that making an ass of them self provides.
Then again, merit must be given to anyone who can track down a bracket of drinks at a beer only event.

Thursday, November 12, 2009


Who's got two thumbs and puts the "bean" in "loserbean"?

Wednesday, November 11, 2009


I've heard people say they dislike Fresh Prince of Bel Air maybe considering Will Smith's career or Will Smith himself. For me, I grew up watching the Fresh Prince of Bel Air and have always enjoyed the show. For some reason I have a signed head shot of Tatyana Ali in my bathroom. It's always great to see Alfonso Ribeiro doing the Carlton dance. The man in the photo reminds me of another fun character, Jazz (Dj Jazzy Jeff) Will's confidante who was always tossed out the front door for causing shenanigans. Any variation of that puts me on board for whatever adventure is in store.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009


It's true, when you're all schnockered, inanimate objects do seem like they bear the best companionship.
Plants especially, because of the chlorophyll.

I am proud to present to you the word schnockered, a word invented by my mother.

Schnockered - (
sh-nŏ-k-erh-d): adjective :a state in which you are lazily under the influence of alcohol, specifically wine. This state can often be identified by the "oh you guys" expression that often surfaces from the subject.

Monday, November 9, 2009


The whole Paddington Bear look is rather pleasant. I do however mind that pending feeling of the fated 90's fad that's looming over. It's like knowing the popcorn is going to burn.

Friday, November 6, 2009


So... I'm ready when you're ready. I just think it's time, someone needs to tell Ron that it's not a doorway to the past.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Oh Mao.

When it's not pouring out an umbrella can be utilized as a parasol, something to keep the sun out of your eyes. When it's not pouring out and your umbrella is translucent, it can be utilized to keep out conformists.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009


continued from yesterday's post..... Then again Halloween is a truly creative holiday. Even people who don't dress up or make a costume will most likely have to use a bit of imagination when it comes to carving a pumpkin. For some who dress in costume, it seems their costume really is a derivative of their personality, fantasies, and inclinations. Which is great because if you're
finally showing that on the outside then it makes it incredibly easier to meet others like you, always a satisfactory moment.

Though, I've seen this fail as well, one year I dressed up as a Jehovah's witness and met 5 other people dressed up as Jehovah's witnesses at a party. I doubt our costume choice represented any dynamism similarities besides our sense of humor toward a severe faith.

Monday, November 2, 2009


My favorite was discussing $2 costumes. Sometimes they look lazy and unceremonious but, if executed properly you can remind people that Halloween is all about having a good time and not feeling like such a blockhead.

Friday, October 30, 2009


I hope a group of people dress up like The Specials again this year.
I'll be going as a Dandy-Lion for this Halloween.
Have fun everyone! I can't wait to see some of the fantastic costumes people are going as! Let me know if you guys come across and clever ones!

Thursday, October 29, 2009


Okay, so, there's this bar on East Lake Street called Merlin's Rest, it's kind of a dive and it's hard to notice from the street. If you go to the utility closet there there's this panel that looks like splash board for the large floor sink and mop. If you remove that panel and follow the corridor, take the stair case down then follow that corridor til you get to a T in the hallway that's where Pell will be waiting for you follow him if you want to go see the world's most elaborate otter rodeo circus you've ever seen.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009


Bow ties are neat regardless. Even if they do turn you into a marionette.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009


It's not that I don't like American Apparel it's just I think American Apparel gives people bad ideas about prevailing taste and presentation.
It's kind of like meatloaf (the entree), tolerable but, recites faulty ideas about portions.

Monday, October 26, 2009


God bless Dennis's little heart.

Friday, October 23, 2009


I've never owned a leather jacket. I don't know if I could pull it off. I think I tried on some vintage pilot bomber jacket once. There's nothing like the classic black leather motorcycle jacket that clamors I'm as fun as smoking cigarettes and hanging out on the wrong side of the tracks.
If I ever own and can parade a black leather motorcycle jacket,
I hope it's as much fun as it looks.

Thursday, October 22, 2009


Not having to worry about anything but making it to school on time, if even that, exploring stupid hobbies, making cool things. I think everyone has those moments where they wish they could be young again. Though, we forget everything that comes along with being young, like the garbage can this kid gets thrown upside down in after school.
Nostalgia is all about what we know now.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009


Remember when sunflowers were kinda hip in the 90's? Somewhere in between Counting Crows and Lisa Loeb. When my sister and I had bedrooms right next to each other in the house we grew up in. My sister got a sunflower dress or something so my mom went to town and decorated her bedroom room in all sunflowers right down to the fragrance. When she finished with that project she turned to my room and designated a flower instead of being inspired by one.
My room was decorated in all pansies, speaks volumes of my character today.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009


Whenever I see these dreadful, fur critter looking, foot mukluk things I feel like a cat that's deathly afraid of the vacuum cleaner.
It looks like they just trotted through a muppet swamp.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

All Clandestine, all the time.

The other night I had a dream that I was in search of the perfect real estate in town to open a speakeasy bar. Where I got the funding? Not sure, it was a dream. I was so excited though and now wish my dream would come true!
I can't get that idea out of my head! Even when I saw this photo I said to myself wow, that's what it's going to look like when you first walk into my speakeasy bar; He's the guy that asks you for the secret password.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009


When grown up Gretel and the Shriners version of Otho from Beetlejuice finally come around it's usually too late and you don't want to play ring around the rosie anymore.

Monday, October 12, 2009


Just so you know, this was taken at a roller rink so the gent in the photo most likely has roller skates on. There is some sort of mystical jalopy happening here where elements proclaim what America (or Ah-merr-ica) is quintessentially known for.
Denim, guitars and rock and roll music, franchise restaurants that serve Country eggs benedict burnt and done cheaply, molestaches and a brazen attitude; we balance all that out while grasping on for dear life trying to maintain composure and have a sense of grace while we figure out what we're doing on four wheels. It's absolute encompassment with a touch of allegory.

Thursday, October 8, 2009


Discovering the backpack's empty when you've been wondering if they've been carrying a heavy bundle all night can be really bewildering.
Discovering there are no lenses in someones frames is also kind of a let down, I was mislead to think there was a burden with your eyesight and it seems instead of having poor eyesight you've decided to make it look as if you do. Huh.
It's almost as if you're mocking people with poor eyesight.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009


Oh Dear, when will these 80's revivalists ever stop?! Ha ha no, let them work it out, it'll pass. Actually this looks more like a 70's get up and I actually don't mind the color combination.
It recalls the idea that The Jetson's was supposed to take place in the future.
To them that would be about now, so maybe they were right on with the attire but, terribly misguided about living on posts in the sky with robots and conveyor belts everywhere.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009


At Bugle Boy University you can graduate with a degree in:

- Flat top anatomy
- History of white washed denim
- Anthropology of looking fly for a white guy.
- Economics in declaring bankruptcy in 2001.

Bugle Boy University, priceless education.

Friday, October 2, 2009

Wet & bothered.

I know I must sound like an absolute atrocious individual when I say this but, I think wet cats are incredibly hilarious because they look so pissed off and vulnerable. I think it's because usually cats act all aloof and haughty which is the exact opposite.
Please watch the fantastic video below.

cat in a bath "The Torture Room" from danilo Parra on Vimeo.


I love those photos that seem to linger around forever and never get lost and every time you look at it you say "Oh, man, remember when Libby upchucked right after this picture was taken?!"

Thursday, October 1, 2009


Introducing Pepsi Silver, it's going to be on the market for two weeks because it doesn't sell, tastes like ingot shit, and it's a clear soda. It will be forgotten by next month.

Hey, anyone remember Orbitz?

Wednesday, September 30, 2009


As long as you bring him a dead squirrel, shoe laces from American Apparel, and a quote from a brat pack movie and he'll tell you your future and boy is it juicily ironic.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009


Getting off the dirt bike and picking up the glow stick must be like ditching the condo downtown and moving into the renovated firehouse loft in the hip district.
It's all the same shit but, the people seem to be more passionate and animated.