Case Closed

In the past I have lost a great many of things. I have lost scarves, film, gloves, sunglasses, money, people, pieces of paper with important information on them, compact discs, drinks, cigarettes, socks, keys, dignity, and many a bobby pins. Most of the time it is after a night of consuming alcohol which, I could never blame for my loses. I have finally found the one who is responsible for it all. All of the belongings anyone has ever lost, he's like the stolen articles fairy. Lurking at every party and bar awaiting for your things to be left unattended for even the slightest of a second.
Sneaky little bastard.