Duress.

Grey Goose has been working for months trying to figure out a way to market their product so that it gets to the people. The solution is a little too forceful and literal but, they're starting to see results. The bad news is the increase in battered tooth lawsuits.

Commiseration.

Why do they always hire these sad looking janitors at sports arenas and convention centers? Every time I visit the restroom I feel I'm in these people's way just by being there and I am making them even more miserable than they already are. When I return to my seat I no longer want to be at the event enjoying myself, cheering on the home team for making millions to toss the ball around. I feel obligated to go back and coach the janitors through the rest of their shift, they're the real ones you need to root for.

Ameliorate.

I say, ever since Dita Von Teese and Rose McGowan clocked in goth has polished up and refined itself. If only we could introduce these kind of role models to suave up the Sublime/311 bunch.

Amaurotic.

"Terribly embarrassing to have to ask but, which one of you is blind again?"

Jingoistic.

Celebrating patriotism can be a beautiful thing. Though, usually when I think of patriotic attributes I don't overhear the remark "she was so scant I could almost see up her American flag." Maybe for the founding fathers that is exactly the sound of letting freedom ring.

Occupado.

Nothing makes a metroish-whippersnapper feel more like a viking than calling a friend to grumble about the unsuitability of the facilities at the Black-eyed-peas concert.

Aberrancy.

I don't think it's a bright idea to be operating heavy machinery while hitting the sauce but, I believe an exception should be made if she has hunted, skinned, and prepared the hide of the animal to make herself a hat. If that's the case, don't let us Yankees tell you who should be drinking and driving.

Shuddersome.

Dating a creepy person must be such a bummer. All those nights waking up to him wide awake staring at you sleeping. Reports from your friends and family receiving an absurd amount of FWD'd chain letters. Vacations to vacant lots in urban areas. Phone calls of loud breathing.
I have a feeling creepy people are incredibly less forgetful than other non-creepy people.

Ouzo δημιουργεί την πλεονεξία.

I'd be on board for a toga regale any day. It's got a terrific combination of some of my favorite elements; Ouzo, indulgence, comfortable yet stylish apparel, and Grecian semblance. It's no wonder all those Pi Delta Suncountry Lamba Beta Jigga Watt Alpha fraternities have so much pride.

Gaffe.

The bowl cut is like a mistake sandwich. It was invented by mistake. The non-professional barber who proceeded to compose the style is a mistake of a human being. The person who requested the cut thinking it could be a trend was greatly mistaken.

Unisonous.

What's terrific about those cartoon super heroes from the seventies is that having a good time is like solving crime!

Adroit.

Right, well, applause all around on the parlor trick and bravo for installing the batch of creepy contortionist fetish guys that will now follow you around for the remainder of the night.

Well raise my rent.

"Mongo only pawn... in game of life." -Mongo, Blazing Saddles

Crimson Ramblers.

Bedbugs are abominable and I think most would agree with this statement. Though, what a great excuse to invite friends over for an ever so popular furniture burning party!

Tanked.

What happened? Did some of the puppies live and it made you so upset you drank til you couldn't feel feelings anymore? Oh wait.